Do you ever feel like you are struggling against yourself? Like there are two versions of you, one who could succeed in the world and one who could not. Like one side of your brain says “Get up!” “Do that!” “Make a to-do list and actually accomplish those goals” or “Be a more outgoing person”. But then another part of your brain says “chill out” or “the to-do list is enough for today” or “you’re not very good at socialization without alcohol” and that part takes over and you forget about the to-do list, forget about the goals, forget about the life outside your door. You watch seasons of TV shows or a few movies or just get caught up on the internet. Sometimes the internet fools you. You feel like you’re educating yourself, like you’re discovering new information that no other place on earth could offer you for free. It’s a bargain and a mental reward. But it’s not all educational. One educational link leads to randomly browsing different sites with information that is the opposite of educational. Or a website that you check every day has some educational or useful links but it only accounts for 50% of the links you actually click on. The rest are just completely and totally useless information. Or you tell yourself you’ll go on tumblr and check out you ten favorite tags for a little bit. Only it’s not a little bit, it’s six hours of your life. A day. Or more. That you can never get back and will never, ever be useful to your life. So my question is why. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I waste my time and how do I keep tricking myself into thinking that i’m not?